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Yesterday…Really…Is That All?

You can not fix what has happened in the past any more than you can retrace the exact steps, breath, and thoughts you had just ten minutes ago unless you have a “limitless” pill.  Great movie and purportedly being worked on–I read on the internet ergo it must be true.

I have rehashed my life and analyzed it, compartmentalized it, and screamed, cried and other morbid, destructive things yet, with all I have done, it refuses to change.  Imagine that.  No magic time car to go back and no warp drive core to bend time.  What does that leave me with?  Memories.  Scars.  Scabs.  Memories can only hurt if you let them.  You can become so inundated with thoughts on the “why” that you miss the opportunity for “why not.”

My life has taken so many changes that the last spiritual mentor discussion went like this…”If half of what you say is true, it’s amazing you’re alive let alone not insane.”  I beg to differ.  I am insane.  I am insane enough to not give a damn what people think about what I do, whom I love, where I want to travel to or live yet I am not naive enough to not notice that it often leaves me on an island.  In front of the packs waiting for me to stumble to use me for food and for them to keep migrating the circle of life.

Managers are easy to make.  Hand them a handbook.  Give them a good salary.  Show them the golden carrots and watch them bottom feed, build fiefdoms, destroy subordinates, and all that devilish Darwinist Machiavellian stuff we love.  Then they’ll be ushered out by younger, sharper knives in velvet gloves.  What’s left is a group of more robots.  Leaders however, take more guts and isolation to forge.  More missteps.

Reliving the past is Wall Street’s great gift.  No matter how many safe harbor statements are stamped on documents, everyone compares present and prior time periods.  Same old metrics.  Few rarely usher in customers or low level workers and ask them how things are going.  That would mean one brutally honest meeting vs butt smacking and back grabbing self worship.  You know, facing the reality of today.  No more hidden agendas for short term success or something for just a handful of lucky repetitive souls to be enriched by.

The past is only a reminder of what we did to end up where we are now.  A swing of the stick to say “Hey stupid!” while the present says, “You’re not stupid.”  Quite a quandary to battle isn’t it?  An angel and a demon proverbially sitting atop our minds.  You can take the road less traveled (the future through present smart work and focus) or the easy path (blame society, politicians, religion, parents, friends, and even worse yourself).  There isn’t one shade of gray here.

Tomorrow isn’t promised.  True.  The past can’t be relived.  Or corrected.  Choose today to build today for a better tomorrow or just drop back with the pack and wait for more dirty carcasses and bad tv.

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